Happy Half Birthday to you and to me.

On Saturday, Safia turned six months.  So much has changed in the past six months, it’s hard to get our heads around it.  I think we can officially say we’re on the other end of the longest shortest time.  I never thought we were going to get here, but I’m so glad we’re here.  So much has happened in the past six months and it’s all a blur, I’m not sure I can really get my head around it.  I guess that’s a good thing because I told Rube we weren’t going to have any more kids if the first few months were etched into my brain.  I guess sleep deprivation is good for something!  Safia has come so far in the past six months and so have we.  She’s more comfortable in her skin and we’re more comfortable in our skin.  I thought it was time to celebrate, so I made a cake.  We shared with friends, but Safia didn’t get any, we haven’t reached that milestone yet!

My dad came for a visit.  We had a great time playing and talking.  

It was too short of a visit, hopefully next time will be longer!  

My cousin Anna made Safia an amazing blanket.  

She is throughly enjoying it! 

Safia has now officially discovered Zoey and Zoey has
discovered Safia.  I see the beginnings of a long, fruitful friendship.

Our friends Jesse, Helen, and David came over to play.  

Safia and David don't know it, but we're already planning their wedding. 

Our friend Elizabeth came for a visit, and even gave Rube and me a break, so 

we went out for a delightful breakfast.  It's so nice to have such great friends!

The other side of normal

When Safia was about two months old a friend of mine asked me if all the challenges of parenthood were worth it.  I have to admit that I hesitated before I said, yes, yes they are.  I finally feel like I can stop hesitating when I answer that question and say unequivocally, yes, yes it’s all been worth it.  Maybe I’m getting more confident in my role as mother, maybe Safia’s starting to figure out this whole baby thing, maybe we’re getting more sleep, maybe we’re (finally) at the end of the longest shortest time, or maybe there is no rhyme or reason.  Regardless, it’s a really nice place to be.  That’s not to say there are no more frustrations…believe me there are still lots of frustrations, but they seem to be less frequent, and I seem to be better equipped to handle them.  I guess we’re all doing lots of growing.

One thing that has sustained us through the beginning of this insane journey we’re on has been our friends and family.  The ones faraway that are there for a phone call when we need it or come for visits, or the ones that are close that drop by, provide us with entertainment, and even on those rare occasions, babysit for us!  A few events in the past few weeks have made me really thankful for our friends. First, a good family friend, who also happens to be a sleep doctor reached out to us to try to help ease my major frustration: nap time.  Seems that I’d consolidated naps too quick (I thought consolidated naps meant two naps, not three, which I now know is what babies her age really need) and wasn’t properly reading Safia signs of tiredness, resulting in a cranky, exhausted baby, and therefore, a cranky and exhausted mama.  With her insights and suggestions, nap-time has become soooooo much easier, which has made me soooooo much happier!  Thanks Janet! 

Second, Rube’s good friend Kurt came for a visit.  It was a short visit, but full of love and warmth.  We watched the Badgers slay NIU, and lamented the Bear’s sorry performance against the Saints.  We also stuffed our bellies full of the best food in the land, imbibed some choice bevies, and filled our hearts with all of Safia’s giggles and smiles. 

Third, in the past few weeks a bizarre set of instances of long-lost friends re-entering our lives have kept us on our toes.  In one such instance, a friend/collegue from when I worked in Colorado (seven years ago) moved to Athens with her husband, who just happens to be in my program, and just happened to offer to watch our dog when we went out of town.  Also, we bumped into friends of ours from California at the farmer’s market.  Turns out they bought a farm in nearby Comer, Georgia.  The world is feeling a little smaller, and Athens is feeling a little more like home. 

Finally, now that Safia is actually going to bed pretty consistently at 6:30, I feel a lot more confident about getting a babysitter.  So last night, Rube had a show in Athens, so I decided to go.  It was so nice to be out and about without a baby in tow, catching up with people and feeling a little more like myself, whoever that may be these days!  Thanks Michelle!

As the weather’s gotten cooler here, and Safia continues to grow like a weed, it was time once again to change over her wardrobe.  Sometimes I feel like I’m playing dress-up with a doll, but the results are so much cuter!  Below is a sampling of my favorites.

Just when we thought we were getting somewhere . . .

Safia at 5 Months

Just when we thought we might have figured this whole parenting thing out . . . well not figured out, but at least had it under control that we felt like somewhat normal people . . . Safia decided to go and grow some teeth.  Needless to say it has been a rough week.  I hear that some babies cut their teeth with no fuss at all, or just a little bit of fussiness.  Well, our daughter is definitely not one of those kids.  She’s been fussy, pretty miserable, and driving both Rube and I up the wall.  I know that I should feel sorry for her because she does have two large teeth cutting through her gums, and I did feel sorry for her… for the first three nights.  Then the sleepless nights got the best of me.  To top it all off, she also got her first cold.  I have no idea if it is teething related, or just rotten luck, but between the teething and the runny nose, we had an unhappy baby for a couple of nights.  She (so also us) didn’t really sleep for three nights, and then things got better, but all that we had accomplished in terms of going to bed seemed to fly out the window. 

 

Bedtime has once again been our on-again-off-again struggle.  We felt like we were getting somewhere in the bedtime battles, but teething regression has put us back at square one, or so it seems.  There have been lots of tears (on her part and my part), but hopefully it won’t take us too long to get back on track.

In the past two weeks the three of us took a trip to Naperville to see Rube’s mom.  That’s when we first noticed Safia’s runny nose.  We had a lot of fun, all things considered.  We took a trip into Chicago and walked around the city.  It was finally cold enough that we could break out some of Safia’s fall clothes.  I am sad to see the cute sundress go, but I am so glad that the weather is cooling down.  Cooling down is a relative term though, by most standards, it’s still hot in Georgia.

We also went to Augusta for the day to go to a friend’s wedding.  We even managed to get a picture of the three of us all dressed up.

Safia continues to get bigger and cuter as the days go by.  I know I’m biased, but after the nights we’ve been having, she’s lucky she still makes me smile.  She loves eating.  She now eats carrots, butternut squash, peas, avocado, sweet potato, and rice cereal.  I think we’re going to try chicken next.  She’s becoming more independent, playing for longer periods of time by herself.  She so desperately wants to crawl, but fortunately for us she hasn’t quite figured it out yet.  And she and I went swimming for the first time!  It took her a little while to get used to the water, but we had a lot of fun.  No pictures of swimming yet, we’ll have to go with Rube one day so we can document that process!

Last week we went to see a friend of ours who has a one-month-old baby.  It was pretty amazing holding her thinking that Safia was like this four short months ago.  It seems like forever ago, and I can’t tell if time is moving incredible slow or incredible fast.  The baby-time-warp is in effect again.  I am trying my hardest to live in the moment, to savor each stage, and to relish in the everyday joys of this crazy journey.  But it is oh so hard to do when she’s screaming.  All I can do is do my best.  

Found my toes

Now I'm going to eat my toes

And tell you all about it!

When I was pregnant I told Rube I was
going to dress our child in nothing but
pigtails and overalls.  It's finally cool
enough for overall, can't wait until she
has enough hair for pigtails!

Gazing up at her Daddy

All dressed up.

Solid Food!

It is amazing how something so seemingly insignificant as smashed carrots can make such a big difference in our lives.  I guess that’s what parenthood is really all about - small seemingly insignificant things making huge differences in your life.  Still, carrots? 

I knew that the fact that Safia wouldn’t take a bottle was adding stress to our lives, and was making everything seem so much harder than it really was, but I didn’t know how much it was affected our mental sanity until it was no longer an issue.  Enter the mashed carrots.  Safia started eating solid foods, and drinking from a sippy cup.  Huge sigh of relief.  She can be fed by someone other than me!  Rube can meet all of her needs.  What a difference it has made!  She has taken to eating vigorously, the look in her eye seems to be telling us, “Finally, this is all I wanted all along!”  We’re going slowly because we’re introducing solid foods a little early.  So far, it’s been rice cereal, carrots, avocado, and sweet potatoes.  Also, breast milk out of a sippy cup.  She doesn’t seem to have a favorite so far, as long as she can stuff it in her mouth, she’s happy. 

At times, I still do find myself questioning whether we introduced solid food too early.  As with everything with parenting, there are lots of people with lots of opinions.  Some people adamantly believe that you should solely breast feed until the child is at least one year old.  We had originally planned to wait until she was six months, but once the doctor gave us the go ahead, there was no hesitation.  Well almost.  Every once in a while, I worry we introduced solid foods because we needed to, not because it was the best thing for her.  I find myself being defiant and almost defensive when I tell people we’ve started her on solid foods.  But then reality sets in – what is best for us is often what’s best for Safia.  We’re better parents because we have more patience, because feeding her is not anxiety-ridden and I’m not feeling as trapped because Rube can feed her.  And most importantly, she is loving eating solid foods.  There’s not much anyone can say to me to convince me we made a mistake when she’s grabbing the spoon to feed herself and smearing food all over her face!

In other news, she’s really starting to move around, no crawling but she’s mastered rolling and I don’t think that it’s going to be long until she’s figured out she can roll around the room.  She’s also starting to skootch around.  I’m not sure I’m ready for this mobility, but she sure is.  She’s also teething – her preferred teething comfort is our fingers, but she does try to put everything in her mouth.  The amount of drool she’s producing is amazing. 

This weekend we celebrated Rube’s birthday.  We had people over on Saturday night and rolled an insane amount of sushi.  Safia enjoyed the party, and went to bed like a champ, so I could enjoy the party too!

Carrots!

Carrots, really, you're giving me carrots?

Don't worry, I got this under control.

Not sure what I think about this.

Now that's what I'm talking about, eating carrots all by myself.

That's right, I'm drinking out of a sippy cup all by myself.  Bottles are for babies!

80%, maybe even 90%, of the Time

80% (maybe even 90%) of the time Safia is amazing.  She smiles, she laughs, she plays, she coos, she makes me smile and laugh.  The rest of the time she cries or fusses, which all in all, isn’t that much time.  But somehow, sometimes, the crying, fussing time can be all consuming.  I know I’m not the most patient person, but I never realized how impatient I was until I am trying for the umteenth time to put Safia down to sleep when I know she’s tired, and I know all she really needs to do is sleep.  I read her stories, I sing her songs, and all she does is cry and cry.  I know all she needs to do is close her eyes so she can sleep and everything will be better, but somehow, she’s stubborn and head strong (wonder how she got that way) and she has other plans.  Too bad she can’t tell me what they are.  I find myself questioning my abilities as a mother.  Do I sing to her again?  Do I walk away and let her cry?  Do I pick her up?  The questions seem simple, but they are so wrapped up in bigger questions about parenting style, and while I know that I am not going to scar her, or make it so she can never take naps, sometimes it feels that way.  Sometimes I find that I have to walk away because the small amount of patience that I have stored has been drained by the screams, while other times I find myself able to sit and sing the same song over and over again.  I try hard to focus on the 80 – 90% of the time when I have this amazing bundle of giggles and smiles, but sometimes it’s hard because the 20 – 10% is so formidable.  Specifically, now, as Safia sits on my lap because, yes you guessed it, she’s exhausted but won’t go to sleep!

Last week we had another great adventure.  On Wednesday Safia and I flew to New Jersey.  We had a wedding on Saturday in Princeton, so we extended our vacation and visited my aunt Trisha and her family.  On Wednesday night, my aunt Kathy and cousin Mikaela came over for dinner, it was so great to be surrounded by so much family.  Not to mention the joy of being able to sit down and eat a meal while someone else held my baby!  On Thursday Trisha, her family, Safia, and I all piled into the car and drove to the beach!  The beach has always been one of my favorite places to go, but since Rube is not really a water-lover, we don’t often frequent the beach.  But as I’ve been telling him, now that we have a baby, maybe we can revisit that discussion.  We had an amazing time at the beach.  Safia sat on the shore with Trisha as Maggie, Katie, Claire, and I played in the waves.  We brought Safia to the water and let her get her feet wet.  She wasn’t the biggest fan, but she’s got plenty of time to learn.

On Saturday, Trisha, Maggie, Katie, Safia, and I all drove to Princeton for the wedding.  I was going to go to the wedding, and the other three came to babysit.  We meet up with Rube and my family, had lunch, and after a whirlwind of getting ready, we slid into the ceremony minutes before the wedding started.  The wedding was beautiful and it was so wonderful to get to celebrate with our friends and family.  Trisha, Maggie, Katie, and Safia walked around Princeton, came and visited us for a covert nursing session, and then headed back for the hotel.  Rube and I were able to were able to enjoy the festivities until 10:00 when we got the, your baby is hungry and won’t take the bottle call.  My family is amazing.

This week has been another week of trying to figure things out.  School started at UGA and I felt a bit discombobulated again.   This is usually the time when I am busiest - starting to teach a new class and trying to figure out my work schedule.  This year, however, I’m trying to figure out how to get anything done, which is proving more and more difficult each day.  But we were able to get a few things done.  Safia and I had our first meeting with my advisor.  She was amazing, bouncing in my lap and playing on the floor so we could talk.  We also went to Gainesville, which we are going to try to do every Tuesday.  I was even able to get some work done with Safia in a carrier and in Ms. Faye’s loving arms.  Rube also had a first: he left home for work before Safia was awake and came home after she was asleep and didn't get to see Safia at all.  It made him really sad.  We both know how lucky we are that we have schedules and flexibilities that allow us to spend so much time with our daughter, and there are people that can’t or don’t spend that much time with their children.  But as he was complaining about it, my lack of sympathy must have given me away, and he asked, “El, you’d really like to have a day you didn’t spend with Safia, won’t you?”  Yes Rube, I would, I really would.   

Not the best picture, but it was fun to all be together
so I had to include it!