School's Out for Summer!

Safia at 7 weeks

Another school year has come to a close.  Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being a teacher, and I did really like the students in my class this year, but they run you ragged (I posted a video I did with my students in December of 2010 below in case you missed it).  The incredible number of decisions teachers make every second, the constant vigilance necessary to maintain order in a classroom of children, and the desire for every child to achieve enjoyment in learning...it's no walk in the park.  I'm actually quite a strong proponent for year-round schooling (where there is not a multi-month summer vacation) as I think instruction would be more effective and students would achieve much more.  But right now, sitting here with Safia snoozing away at the start of her 7th week of life, I am completely relishing the time I will have with her and Ellen this summer.  I feel very fortunate, indeed.

Well, the past few days have been pretty good (knock on wood).  I hesitate to say that we have turned a corner, but things do seem to be easing up a bit in the relentless crying realm.  Safia's been sleeping more soundly and for longer periods of time, and has had longer stints of happy awake time (as opposed to screaming awake time).  Also, she's been dishing out smiles and little giggles with greater frequency which melts our hearts every time.  As always, her many and varied facial expressions continue to keep us entertained and she has begun to make "vocalizations."  We've already had a good number of conversations regarding proper behavior, etiquette, and our expectations for her academic, musical, athletic, and social achievement.  They were all very well received, I think.  We're all on the same page.

In other news, Safia's grandmother (her 奶奶 [nai nai]) is here in town checking out our little love bug.  She got in town on Thursday afternoon, caught the High Strung String Band show that night in Atlanta, and helped me clean and organize my classroom all before meeting Safia for the first time.  When they met, though, it was pure love.  I requested that my mom speak to Safia mostly in Chinese so as to allow Safia to hear the language as it was intended (not my American accented, poor grammar, limited vocabulary version of Chinese).  My mom stays until this coming Wednesday so were trying to think up fun springy/summery things to do.  Other than that, things are looking rather peachy here in the peach state.  It's gonna be a hot weekend; a great way to introduce Safia to summers in the south.

The Many Faces of Safia Rose

They say that moms (and I’ll add attentive dads) learn to recognize their children’s different cries and can distinguish their meanings.  Supposedly, there’s a different cry for when they're hungry, when they want their diaper changed, when they’re tired, when they're sick, when they’re just fussy, etc.  I’m starting to  distinguish her different cries, but I still have no idea what they mean, and I’m not sure I ever will.  Rube does say that he could pick Safia’s cry out of a “cry line up,” again, I’m not sure I could, but maybe.  He can sleep through her cries, but I can't, so maybe I'm more in tuned with her than I think!

But what I am figuring out are her facial expressions – so at least I have some idea what to expect.

There’s her “Poop Face” . . .

Her “Nursey Face” otherwise known as her "Feed me Face" . . .

There’s her “Milk Drunk Face” . . .

I know this one might seem obvious (she's yawning, not crying), but when it follows a “Poop Face” it becomes her “I’m done Pooping Face,” (sometimes it’s also accompanied by two sneezes)

There's her "Sleepy Face" . . .

There's her "Gassy Face"

Her "I'm not happy with this face"  . . .

Finally, call them gas bubbles, call them face twitches, call them what you will, we call them smiles, and we relish everyone we get, because these days, they're few and far between and we take what we can get . . . 

A Full Weekend

Safia at 6 weeks!

A full weekend...full of crying that is.  Eventful too, I guess, but crying: lots of crying.
**Disclaimer**: this is Rube typing here, so the opinions and perspectives laid out in this post are not intended to represent Ellen.   Just wanted to get that straight first.  Anyway...on with it.

I don't consider myself overly sensitive to crying.  I know that's what babies do.  They cry when they're hungry, they cry when they need a diaper change,  they cry when they're really tired, they cry when they have gas (and don't we all), they cry when they're not being bounced right, or when you look at them wrong, or when you're eating and they're not, or they cry just because they feel like it.  I like to think that I'm pretty tolerant of it all, but yesterday, for some reason, it just really got under my skin.  I guess I like to think that a baby's crying originates from some logical and simple reason (e.g., hunger, dirty diaper, or sleepy); something that can be rectified easily and baby stops crying.  Voila!  But there are those momentsthat she seems so inconsolable  (and no, Safia is not colicky, but she's got quite the pipes!).  It leaves me feeling like a failure and rather inadequate.  I'll do everything in my arsenal, and I've gathered quite the list of tricks and tips for calming a baby, and when nothing works, I find myself thinking over and over, What do you want from me, kid?!  Ok, ok, ok...I realize this rant is so poignant right now because Safia had a fussier-than-usual day yesterday.  I'm sure the next post will be all sunshine and lollipops.  But a good rant every now and again are good right?  Good to get it off the chest.  {big sigh of relief} moving on.

So as previously mentioned, this weekend was, in fact, rather eventful.  On Friday afternoon, Ellen organized a really informal and low-key celebration at a local bar to observe my completing my Master's degree.  It was really nice and I felt very honored.  Safia wore a very pretty dress and was on her best behavior.  As I looked around the room at the congregation of friends, I noticed (and others brought it to my attention as well) that we know a lot of people with babies and a lot of pregnant women.  I guess it's the phase of life we're in now, and I guess we've kind of been purposely trying to meet more people with babies (for commiserating and forming community), but dang...not too long ago we were lamenting the fact that we had so few friends with babies that we wouldn't have any support.  I guess the times they are a-changing.  Well, we stayed out until the wee hours of 7:45pm, packed it up, and headed home.

Yeah Katie G.!

I won't go too much more into yesterday's happenings, as I've fulminated enough.  But there were some events of note: I wanted to give Ellen some time to do non-baby things, so she worked in the garden for most of the morning turning and prepping some garden beds for tomato transplants.  I stayed in with the mad-crier.  Afterwards, we took Safia to apply for her first and very own passport (we suspect she'll be using it plenty!).  A quick trip to the CVS to get some passport photos taken (we brought a white sheet and laid it on the ground; Safia on her back looking up; picture taken from above), and then to the library to fill out the paperwork.  Something we learned: in addition to application fee for the passport, there is a fee that is paid to the library for the transaction, and the library uses those funds to buy new books and to organize reading events for children.  That's a worthy cause! After the library, we ran some errands, and then went to a friend's baby shower.  It was a lovely affair, and after another Safia meltdown, she slept soundly in the Moby Wrap as we chatted with friends on a beautiful day.  Upon arriving home, Safia, exhausted from the festivities (and crying), was out for the night.  We had a nice 3 hours of sanity as Safia slept soundly in her bassinet, before we joined her in sweet slumber.

There'd be days like this my momma said

When I was pregnant, my mom often said to me “After you were born, some days, your dad would come home and I’d have gotten so much done, and other days, I’d still be in bed in my pajamas.”  I got the gist of what she was saying, there’d be good days, and there’d be bad days, I didn’t really get it until Monday.  I’m not sure if Safia had an upset stomach, if she wasn’t feeling well, or if she was just not having a good day, but she cried and cried and cried – which in turn made me cry and cry and cry (just imagine me holding her bouncing on an exercise ball, which is usually the only sure fire way to get her to stop crying if she’s really fussy, with her in my arms with both of us bawling).  It makes me laugh now, but in the moment I thought it was never going to end.  To make matters worse, the day before, she’d slept for a solid two hours in her bassinet for Rube (there's no justice).  The rational side of me knew that things were going to get better and that it was just one of those days, but the emotional side of me thought that it was never going to end and it was always going to be like this, and of course, the emotional side was winning, and the tears came.  It was at the next morning, me dreading another repeat day, that what my mom had said finally sunk in and I really got it – there would be good days and there would be bad days took on a whole new meaning! 

Hanging out in the Garden - this only
lasted about 10 minutes! 

The rest of the week has been much better – we’ve run errands, with minimal crying, we’ve watered the garden, which is a challenge with a baby attached to you, but we’re working on the bouncy chair in the garden, and we went to visit friends who have a two week old, it’s amazing how big Safia looks in comparison. 

On Sunday, I had my first solo outing (my Mother’s Day gift to myself, after fifteen days straight with her most of the day, I needed a break).  I met Priscilla for frozen yogurt.  After we’d been sitting outside on the patio of the frozen yogurt plac, she looked across the parking lot at the patio of the Agua Linda (a local Mexican restaurant) and saw the waitress bring out Margaritas.  She lamented the fact that we hadn’t thought of that, so after a quick phone call to Rube revealed that Safia had been sleeping in her bassinet for the entire hour and forty-five minutes I was gone (which she never does for me), I informed him I wasn’t coming home and was going to get a Margarita instead – an excellent choice, if I do say so myself!

Rube has just over a week of school left – the kids are done next Wednesday and he’s counting down the days.  It’s been challenging because he uses up much of  his patience with his students, and has little left when he comes home to a grumpy Safia.  In just over a week, all will change – tag-team parenting all day, we’re both looking forward to it! 

The Rare Weekend Edition

Safia at 5 weeks

Happy Mother's Day!

I can smell summer around the corner.  Some of you may be saying that the summer solstice isn’t until June 21, and that is well over a month away.  Be that as it may, May 18^th is the last day of school for students in the Clarke County School District, and that is the official start of summer as far as I’m concerned, and that day can not come fast enough.  This summer’s plans are another blog post down the road, but let me tell you that it’s going to begin with a whole lot of being at home with wife and baby and dog.  Family unit style!  Once significant factor that will allow me to focus more squarely on the responsibilities of baby rearing is that I have, after much toil, sweat, and industry, completed all coursework for my Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Education and my clear, renewable teaching certificate for the state of Georgia {applause – cheer – exaltation!}  A big thanks, with love and appreciation, goes to Ellen who has shouldered my grumpiness, my exasperation, my stress, and my exhaustion; who listened to my ideas, helped me clarify my purpose, and refine my vision; all while attending to your myriad, demanding responsibilities.  I couldn’t have done it without you!

Well, it’s been two weeks back working since my paternity leave ended, and I gotta say it’s not a barrel of laughs.  I’m tired, my students are tired (and crazy! Sorry kids, but you are), and when I get home, Ellen’s tired, Safia’s tired, and Zoey, well, she just really only ever wants to go on more walks. I think that our house is the epicenter of tiredness in all of Athens, if not the whole southeast region.  But I know things are getting better, and will continue to get better.  It’s just a matter of keeping sanity during these turbulent times, and I think we’re finding our way (little by little).  These first five weeks have been hard.  We can’t wait until she can interact with us so we feel like there is some return on all our efforts and energy.  I finally understand why some parents only have one child.  I found myself musing, “Why in the world would I go through this again?!”  But I’ll be patient.  I’ll keep waiting for the “It gets better” phase. 

Yesterday afternoon my band (High Strung String Band) played at the Art-B-Q festival in Avondale Estates (Atlanta for those not-from-around-here).  It was pretty awesome to play music for some new people and get out and about on such a lovely day.  Because of the long drive, the heat of the day, and the crowds, Ellen and Safia sat this one out.  The band has had a three-weekend-in-a-row run here and the summer schedule is starting to fill up.  Negotiating music and family life will be a recurring theme, I think.  There's sacrifice on all sides, but it's something we're dedicated to working through.  The band has a mini-summer tour scheduled to start on June 21^st and we’re trying to figure out how it’s all going to work out.  

Yesterday morning I did a little work in the garden: transplanting basil into pots, transplanting eggplant and peppers into the ground, mulching, and some weeding.  Things are looking pretty good in spite of the increased neglect as of late.  I brought the camera out to the garden and looked for little baby veggies and fruits.  I’m getting excited about the mini-bounty that will soon occupy our plates.

A beneficial insect!

A baby blackberry and the promise of more to come.

Out on the Town

This week Safia and I hit the town – which with a 5 week old baby really means we left the house a few times.  Again, testing limits, probably pushing limits, but a happy mama is necessary for a happy baby and I was getting a little stir-crazy being home.  In addition to our excursions, we’ve made sure to take a walk each day to get a little exercise – I’m looking forward to finding some time to do a little more than walking, but for now, I take what I can get. 

On Monday, we went to the Geography department, I had a meeting with my advisor, and I also wanted to introduce Safia to all the women who work in the office.  I also figured it was a good first solo outing because I was completely comfortable there (I’ve spent enough time there) and there are enough people and spaces I could go if she (or I) had a melt down.  She once again surpassed my expectations and slept peacefully in the moby wrap the entire time we were there.  Of course, she screamed all the way home!

On Tuesday, we went to the doctor’s office for Safia’s one-month check up.  She’s doing great, gaining weight and growing.  She was 9 pounds 13 ounces (she’s gained 2 pounds 5 ounces from her birth weight) and 22 inches long (3 inches longer than when she was born!).  On the way home we stopped at the bank and the Co-op to pick up a few things.  I figure I need to work my way up to the real grocery store – maybe that’s a trip for next week!

On Thursday, we went to Full Bloom for their New Mom’s group, a weekly informal setting where mom’s can bring their babies.  We ran into two moms/babies from our centering group (we did group prenatal care through the midwife clinic at Athens Regional where we met bi-monthly with five other couples all with due dates close to ours.  In addition to the medical checks, we also talked about different topics related to pregnancy and new baby care).  It was nice to see familiar faces.

Today, we went to a friend’s farm (Full Moon Farms) and helped harvest vegetables for their CSA.  It was so nice to be outside and getting my hands dirty.  Safia was again in the Moby Wrap, and slept through most of the morning.  I worked a little slower than I would have if she wasn’t attached to me, but it was nice to be doing something.  We also got the added bonus of coming home with yummy veggies, which is good because we haven’t gone grocery shopping in almost a month!

 

In the afternoons, we’ve continued to have visitors – which has also done wonders for my mental health!  I still do continue to look forward to when Rube gets home so I can pass off the baby to him – I’ve never been so enthusiastic about doing the dishes before! 

All the morning adventures have helped the days pass by, but I’m not sure what it’s doing in our attempts to get Safia on some sort of routine – not a schedule yet, but the beginnings of some order.  We’re going with the eat, play, sleep routine, which is what seems to make sense to us.  She’s been doing well, but doesn’t really like to sleep all that much during the day unless she’s laying on some one or in the Moby Wrap or the Ergo.  But, she is sleeping more and more at night – once we finally get her down for the night (which can still take a number of tries) she’ll sleep for 3 – 4 hours before waking up and wanting to nurse – she’ll then sleep in 2-3 hours stretches another 2-3 times.  She’s up between 20 minutes and an hour between each sleep cycle.  It has made a huge difference for my state of mind, because I also get to sleep more! 

A Month in Review

Safia - Four weeks Old

Today Safia is one month old.   It’s hard to believe that it’s been a month since our lives were turned upside down with our new addition.  It is pretty amazing how time has seems to take on a whole new dimension.  Each day seems so long.  It seems like Safia has always been part of our lives, but at the same time, I can’t believe she’s already a month old.  So much has changed, and as cheesy as it sounds, we’ve learned so much.  We keep telling ourselves that it’s going to get easier, and it seems like it might be getting a little easier, maybe.  She’s sleeping a little more, she’ll stay on her play mat or bouncy chair for a few minutes more each day.  Rube and I are also figuring things out, little tricks to make things easier.  It’s amazing to think about what the next month will bring us!

One week Old

Two Weeks Old

Four Weeks Old

Three Weeks Old

Safia getting a pre-show serenade from HSSB

This weekend was a busy one, well at least Saturday was busy.  Rube had two shows, so Safia and I decided we would venture into the world and go to the Strawberry Festival.  She was a trooper in the car (much better than our last car trip!) and enjoyed being serenaded in her car seat before the show.  Of course, as soon as they stated playing, she wanted to nurse.  But since it was what I was going to be doing anyway – it was nice to be able to do it in a different setting.  She then rocked it out in the Moby Wrap for the rest of the show.  Of course, we pushed our limits just a little bit, she was not happy to get back into her car seat – we decided instead of enduring a thirty minute ride with a screaming child, we’d try stopping, changing her diaper, and nursing her – so we pulled into a parking lot and did just that and had a happy baby for the rest of the ride home.

Rube, Seth, and Safia enjoying the Geography Picnic

On Saturday, we also had the geography picnic.  Safia got her first introduction into the world of academia – she was a superstar, happily being passed from one person to another, until of course she was hungry and I had to go sit in a corner and nurse (this seems to be reoccurring theme of my life).  Rube had to leave to go to his second show, so Saifa and I were once again flying solo.  She again happily slept in the Moby for the rest of the picnic.  Since Rube was at his show, Safia and I had to make it home on our own – I had to drive with Safia for the first time – up until Saturday, I had only been in the car with Rube driving.  Re-introduction to the world of the mobile!  She started crying as soon as I put her in the car seat, but quickly settled in, making it a smooth transition home to more nursing!

Sunday was a relatively quiet day.  Rube spent the day writing papers, Safia and I spent the day hanging out, nursing, and wishing Rube would hang out with us instead of writing his papers.  Luckily the end is in sight, and if all goes according to plan, all the papers will be done by Monday night.  If not, then hopefully by Tuesday Rube can put his school work behind him, at least for now!