It's Tuesday, Right? April still?

Days come and days go.  Time has whole new dimensions.  The days have seemed to fly by, but yet it was only two weeks ago that Ellen's parents were here - and that seems like ages ago.  Each day plods along and I get so antsy because there's always so much to do.  We advance through most days completely unaware of day, date, or time of day.  It also astounds me that this is my last week at home before going back to work.  I'm already anxious about leaving Ellen and Safia, not because I don't think that Ellen can handle it (she can!), but because I know that life is easier, happier, saner, and more enjoyable  when both of us can share the responsibilities connected to caring for a newborn infant.


**Nerdy tangent alert**
As humans evolved into walking on two legs, the shape of their pelvis became narrower.  This, coupled with the extraordinarily large brain size, as compared, proportionally, to other mammals, necessitated human babies be born three to four months earlier so the baby's head could fit through the birth canal.  Therefore, at birth until about three months, a human newborn is highly dependent on its parents while it develops its brain and central nervous system.  Many refer to the first three months of a newborn's life as the 'fourth trimester.'  Also, one must consider the postpartum period for mothers, which include huge hormonal changes, new roles and responsibilities, healing, stress, and sleep deprivation.  Taken as a whole, it's a whole lotta fun.
**Nerdy tangent alert cleared**

Anyway, I definitely feel guilty for going back to work, but I know I have to.  I am comforted to know that, by the time I go back to work, there'll only be three and a half more weeks of school left in the school year, and they'll probably go by quick.

Well it seems Safia's feeding marathon sessions have abated a bit (knock on wood).  She's napping more and more in her bassinet throughout the day, which is nice.  The weather here in Athens has been beeeeeau-ti-fulllll these past few days so we've taken advantage by going on multiple walks around the neighborhood.  Zoey, our wonderful and kind canine family member is still adjusting to our slower pace of walking around the neighborhood.  She has been absolutely terrific with Safia; very gentle with her and always protective (if a bit too protective at times as G'ma Reeny can attest to).

Growing and Learning

Safia at 2 weeks old

Safia is not very pleased that I am blogging right now.  How have we reached compromise, you might ask?    We've agreed to these conditions:

1. I will swaddle her snuggly.
2. I will hold her in my arms, on her side, looking out (she likes to check out the world).
3. I will bounce on the exercise ball - without stopping or pausing
4. If she scrunches up her face and begins her pre-crying maneuvers, I must stop blogging immediately, bounce with more joie de vivre, and make a steady shushing sound in her ear (sometimes I give a quick kiss to the cheek for good measure).
5. I will blog lovingly about her and not reveal anything embarrassing, nor display any silly pictures of her (ok, maybe a few).
6. She agrees to not cry.

I think those are fair terms.

This was a full and exciting weekend.  Visitors came, delicious food was eaten, music was played, walks were taken, books were read, and naps were taken.  Like I said, full and exciting.  There were a few moments worthy of note.  Firstly, on Saturday morning, we attended the new parents group that meets at Full Bloom (I have mentioned this wonderful parental oasis in Athens in a previous post. Review if needed). Now, it should be disclosed that this sort of thing is not our cup of tea, but numerous people had recommended it, so we thought we'd give it a shot.  There were about 4 other babies with parents there, so it wasn't too overwhelming, and it was very informal.  Babies did baby things, and parents chatted about parental things.  What was great was that nobody there was trying to sugar-coat caring for a two-week old infant.  We were reassured that we were definitely in the thick of it, and that it gets much better  and much easier after about six weeks.  We were reassured that the struggles we've been having with inconceivably frequent nursing is totally normal.  We were reassured that she will sleep longer, thus allowing us to sleep longer.  We were reassured, most importantly, that we were doing great - that we were doing things right, that Safia looked happy and healthy, and that the crazy things we notice and question are the same crazy things that other parents notice and question.  A collective sigh ensued, and we returned our attentions to suppressing our social awkwardness.

Another phenomenon that bears mentioning is that Safia slept in her bassinet alone for about an hour on Sunday evening.  I know what you're thinking:  Big woop, dude.  My response to you would be: It is a big woop, dude.  This little solo siesta allowed Ellen and I to have two hands free (that's a total of four free hands) for an hour! And what did we do with this marathon 60-minutes of freedom?  We ate dinner together - just the two of us -  no baby.  It was pretty sweet.  Sure enough, just as we finished up our dinner, we heard the telltale sounds of a rustling infant through the monitor; the series of grunts, increasing in volume and urgency, mushrooming into a full-on wail.  We knew that our mini-date was over.  Swaddling, holding in arms on her side, shushing, bouncing...repeat.

Lastly, the spring season is fully upon us.  Azalea blooms are ridiculous.  Tomato, peppers, and eggplant seedlings are vibrant.  And what did I spy when I glanced at our blueberry bushes? Wee-little blueberry babies gathering their juice.  I just hope Safia is ready to eat solid food when these blueberries ripen this summer.  I can't think of anything better to introduce Safia to the world of solid food than home-grown blueberries - there is no equal.

What's In a Name?

Names are complex things.  They are a source of identity and we learn to define ourselves by the name we are given.  So what is the meaning behind Safia Rose Yen-Kohl?  Hold on to your hats...here we go!


After completing her undergraduate degree at McGill University in Montreal, Ellen spent two and a half years serving in the Peace Corps in the West African country of Guinea.  While there, she became quite fond of the common name, Safiatou.  She made it a bit more succinct by shortening it to Safia.  Safia is Arabic in origin and means 'true friend.'


Rose, her middle name, is the name of Ellen's paternal great-grandmother.


And quite obviously, we have hyphenated our last names to produce the Frankenstein, conglomeration, Yen-Kohl.


Now wait a minute....we're not quite done yet.  Young Safia also has a Chinese name.  In one Chinese tradition, families consult the help of a "fortune teller" to help derive an appropriate and auspicious name.  The birthdate and birth-time of the father, mother, and baby-to-be-named are all taken under consideration.  Also, Chinese names are based on the number of pencil strokes used to write out the full name (For example, my family name, Yen, is written 顏 and has 18 strokes) and the total number of strokes in a name helps to determine how appropriate the name is.  After analyzing these components, a list of names are offered.  We were given five different choices for Safia's Chinese name, and we chose 顏詩穎 (Yen Shī Yǐng).  The first character, 顏 (Yen), is my family name.  The middle character, 詩 (Shī ), means 'poetry.'  The last character, 穎 (yǐng), means intellectual. 


So there you have it.  Safia Rose Yen-Kohl.  顏詩穎.


I have one more week left in my paternity leave from school.  Yesterday, we video chatted with my classroom so that my students could meet Safia.  It was hilarious and awesome.  I have great students.  It's going to be really hard to go back to work, but at least I know my students will welcome me back (see below).  

A message from one of my students

Meandering Musings

We were lucky to have some wonderful visitors come by yesterday.  During our conversation, we spoke, briefly, playfully, about what instrument I would have Safia take up.  Certainly, it is my sincere hope that Safia grows to love music and can use it to enhance her life, and I do hold not-so-secretive ideas about which instrument she should play (mandolin - have you seen those long and slender fingers?).  But as we good naturedly planned her musical future, it did trigger in me very real consideration of her future prospects and what lies ahead.  Up until now, our thoughts have been pretty focused on survival.  Making sure she's eating well and gaining weight, scrupulously examining her every bowel movement for color and consistency, watching her sleep and making sure she's still breathing (newborns have some crazy breathing patterns), and general hyper-vigilance about everything revolving around her well-being.  But now, watching her sleep in my lap (breathing steadily), I think of the boundless potential that this tiny, adorable, breathtaking, remarkable, wondrous, poop-factory holds.  The hopes and dreams that parents have for their children: to be happy, to be healthy, to always feel safe, to be compassionate and tolerant, to be prosperous (and I don't mean monetarily), and to leave a positive mark on the world are at the forefront of my thoughts right now.  My mind is abuzz with all the possibilities, the unknown.  To want so much makes my eyes well up.  So this is what it's like to be a parent, huh?  For once it's not Safia who's crying - it's me.

photo credit: Mr. Parmer

Yesterday, we got our first drop-off of cloth diapers from the diaper service company here in Athens (All Kleen, inc).  They drop-off clean cloth diapers and pick-up the dirty ones once a week so we're in steady supply.  We figured that starting with the diaper service would be a good way to ease into the cloth diapering world.  As we hit our cloth diapering stride, we would then ween ourselves from the diaper service.  In all honesty, though, the diaper service is so inexpensive, it might be more economical (in time and money) to just use the service.  We shall see.  Safia was awake, alert, and in a wonderful mood for what seemed like an eternity yesterday.  We had a sweet front porch chillin session in the late afternoon watching the baby squirrels frolick, the cardinals court one another, and the rainbows of color from the blooming dogwoods, azaleas, and irises.  How pleasant.

Storytime in Babyland

Yesterday, we ventured out into the real world - the first trip in what felt like a looooong time.  Settle in, grab a cup of tea, and ready yourself for a brief, if not a bit exaggerated, rendition of our mini-journey outside our sanctuary of babydom: As our front door creaked open, the glaring and radiant sunshine pummeled our pupils, hastening their immediate constriction.  As we shielded our eyes from this merciless, solar assault, we soldiered on, intent on our goal.  Baby in carrier, carrier in hand, we hurtled to the car, secured Safia into place, and in mere moments, we were commingled with your everyday, garden-variety citizen.  And can you believe it - people were just going about their business, completely oblivious to the fact that we just had a baby; totally just like walking around, talking on cell phones, and like driving around  and stuff.  Astounding.  OK, all dramatizing (and thesaurus use) aside, we have felt a little isolated with this needy little nugget.  Even little trips outside the house require much planning and preparedness: pack the diaper bag, check for a dirty diaper, hopefully coordinate a feeding to our departure time, get her situated into her car seat carrier...did we remember to put clothes on ourselves? Visitors have been our lifeline to the outside world, and we have come to really appreciate it (hint, hint...those of you in Athens...come for a visit!)

Well, our first stop was to Full Bloom (a retail/resource space for pregnancy and early parenthood) to get Safia weighed.  In addition to making sure she regained the weight she lost following birth, we wanted to do a pre-feeding weighing to compare it with her post-feeding weight to see how much she's ingesting.  We were reassured to discover that she not only regained her weight, but packed on a few extra ounces for good measure (she's now 7lbs 13.5oz for those keeping score).  Our next stop was to the midwifery clinic for a little check-up for Ellen.  Everything in order, we ventured back home.  Excursion successful.  A couple of good friends came over for a visit, and we ate some tasty food.  I took Safia (in the Moby wrap...love it) and Zoey (the dog. on her leash, not in the Moby wrap) around the neighborhood for an invigorating walk while Ellen took a much needed herbed bath.  Safia's feeding marathons continue.  We are in high spirits.

Get that blasted camera out of my face already!

Sleep, Eat, Poop, Repeat.

As the title may suggest, Safia is living the simple life.  I feel as though we have been prescribed the same daily existence.  We catch sleep when we can get it, forget to eat, get "hangry," devour something, anything, then settle into the couch for the next cycle to begin.  I suppose I should enjoy this period in her life.  Before too long, she'll be teething, then she'll be mobile, then she'll be talking, then she'll be driving, and then she'll be acting like she's smarter than me (we all know that is an impossibility).  Anyhow, I realize this is a pretty sweet chapter in her life.  Sometimes I get frustrated when trying to decipher the cause of her fussiness (nice way of saying inconsolable wailing) or astonished as she scrunches up her face - a sure sign she's making a deposit in the Bank of Pampers - in seemingly 10 minute intervals (in the end, I should be happy about the pooping thing as it's a sign she's feeding sufficiently if not proficiently).  At any rate, all she has to do is open those eyes, and I instantly melt.  I can (and do) spend hours just watching her sleep in quiet wonderment.  She's pretty awesome.

So I'm sure you've been thinking, "I wonder how long Rube is able to stay at home with his new family?"  Well, the answer is that I had to fight for the right to use my sick days I had saved up.  When I return to work on April 25th, I will have spent a total of three weeks on paternity leave.  When I first investigated the school district's policy for paternity leave, I was not surprised that they did not offer anything for fathers, but I was appalled when I learned that they would only allow me to use 5 of my sick days to be home with new baby and recovering wife.  I could go on for days about the damage that these antiquated and anti-family policies have on society, but perhaps that's a different blog.  I will, instead, direct you to an article written in the New York Times almost a year ago.  If you're interested, click here.

Well, we're convinced that the spate of marathon feedings around bedtime are because of a growth spurt that occurs around this time in Safia's development.  The official breast-feeding term is "cluster feeding," and we have embraced it.  I have a new appreciation and love for our house fan (a fan in the ceiling that draws all the hot and stuffy air up and out the attic).  Not only has it been effective in cooling our house down in the evenings, but because it kind of sounds like a freight train, it has done wonders for calming Safia down during those, "I'm not really hungry, I'm not really sleepy, I don't have a dirty diaper ... I'm just not really in a good mood," moments.  The sound of the house fan, coupled with some rhythmic bouncing, and Safia is blobby in seconds.

                              OK...I'm making a to-do list for today!

A Slow Blog Movement

As I type right now, Safia is sound asleep in the crook of my arm.  So precious.  Yet, I am forced to type one keystoke at a time (chicken pecking style).  It really makes me think of the "slow" movements that have become so popular (slow food, slow travel, slow living, etc.).  Perhaps I may be the pioneer of the slow blog movement.  Each key mindfully and deliberately struck.  Every word patiently simmered to prose perfection.  In fact, make sure you read this blog slowly, for that is the intended rate of consumption. In fact, everything, lately, seems to have slowed down a bit; we've downshifted.  Taking the time to be an engaged participant, feels right.  We feel very fortunate to be able to have this slow time together.

look carefully - not one, but two dimples!

Since we've been home, friends have stopped by regularly to meet Safia and to bring us food to help make sure we don't forget to eat.  We feel so overwhelmed by all the kindness and nourishing food that has come our way.  A neighbor sent out a message on our neighborhood listserv announcing Safia's arrival and encouraged neighbors to bring over some food.  Also, a friend set up a giving calendar on the website www.carecalendar.org.  This resource is such a great idea and can be used in so many wonderful and compassionate ways, that I wanted to pass it along.  Consider it if there is ever a need that needs to be filled.

Last night was a repeat session of the previous night: 2 hours of on-and-off nursing at the beginning of the night and then some solid slumber.  Perhaps a trend is forming?  I suspect today is going to be rather mellow.  Maybe a nice walk around the neighborhood before it gets too hot (upper 80s for the past few days!).  I've played a number of instruments for Safia and she has been particularly fond of the violin.  I'm going to schedule another violin music session with her this morning to see if we can get this music thing to stick.

Lots of love, from Safia